being an aspie: or, what goes on in my brain

if you’re tired of the 298109237981723+ other posts i did about my personal life and brain space, you’re perfectly welcome to skip this one.

asperger’s / autism, for the unaware (i would suggest that you’ve been living under a rock but I was too when i was in like middle school) is this thing when your brain works differently and you don’t understand people like social human beings do. often shows itself by being antisocial, a social outcast / loner, saying socially inappropriate things, taking things literally, etc. Also shows itself by being hypersensitive to touch / sound / bright lights, obsessions, feeling the need to act weirdly, hand-flapping, collections, obsessions with numbers, obsessions with the way things sound, inability to talk on phones, inability to gauge people’s feelings, inability to eye contact.

Please note that having one of these symptoms does not necessarily mean you have asperger’s / autism. Asperger’s is basically high-functioning autism.

While I don’t have a diagnosis, I’m pretty sure that I have asperger’s. Or at least *something’s* wrong with my brain.

WHHHHHEEEEEE.

I LOVE HAVING CRANIAL ANOMALIES.

okay schiesse i shouldn’t blog when I’m tired. See you in a very long time.

***

said very long time has passed.

so I listed a bunch of symptoms. I don’t necessarily demonstrate all of them.

I have trouble having conversations / making eye contact with people who aren’t very very close to me. I talk to myself. I hate change but can deal with it. When I get pissed at life I have to be alone and can’t deal with words. I’m sensitive to sounds and lights. I like repetition and doing weird things with my hands. I can’t talk on phones to save my life. Or insert myself into large conversations. I perpetually wear the same jacket. (So if you’re looking for me I’ll be the one in the ancient jacket who’s talking to herself and being a hand contortionist)

I also have a thing for purple prose (oops) and meter. Writing sonnets is fairly easy for me. Sometimes, especially when I’m tired, I take things really literally. I think it shows more when I’m tired. Everything shows more when I’m tired.

Also, I’m antisocial and an introvert. Which describes at least half of the bookish community. YAYYYYY!!!

HEM

I don’t have an official diagnosis, which is annoying because people ask me if I’m sure that I have Aspergers’, which makes me even less confident than usual. UGH SELF-DIAGNOSIS. So I’m content with “aneurotypical.” Which, according to spellcheck, doesn’t exist. Hurrah.

(Neither does Aspergers’, which makes me doubt the accuracy of spellcheck. Deeply.)

I always doubt myself when it comes to diagnoses because my problems seem so small compared to everyone else’s. Also occasionally people question me. I HAVE NO SELF-ESTEEM OKAY. (That’s not quite true. Oversimplification.)

I don’t know. Do any aneurotypical people follow me? Socially awkward people? Can you tell me about life?

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3 thoughts on “being an aspie: or, what goes on in my brain”

  1. The high functioning version is probably difficult to diagnose anyway. Just get support for yourself as you are in whatever state you may be. So many things get mixed up with the general teenage condition of developing into an adult, including hormones and brain development. All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

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