Once upon a star-sprinkled night sky, a bunny rabbit was not sleeping.

The bunny rabbit liked eating carrots and peanut butter cups. Do not question the bunny rabbit.

However, even though she had exhausted her supply of carrot and peanut butter cups, she still could not sleep. This was mainly because her phone had run out of battery and she was waiting for it to come back to life.

Needless to say, this was not very effective, and the bunny was sad.

She asked her mom why her phone was not magically charging. However, her mom was sleeping, so this did not work out well. When her mom woke up, she snorted and stabbed the bunny with a carrot, which the bunny promptly ate.

“My phone is out of battery,” said the bunny.

Her mom snorffled and snored and went back to sleep.

The bunny was sad. She looked at her phone and threw it at a nearby tree. The tree woke up.

“Why have you woken me up?” said the tree.

“My phone is dead,” said the bunny.

“That makes no sense,” said the tree.

“Maybe you can help me,” said the bunny.

“I do not like phones,” said the tree. “They are too complicated. I am a tree.”

The bunny thought this was reasonable, apologized to the tree, and retrieved her phone.

Then she fell down a rabbit hole. At the bottom was a dragon.

“Passport please,” said the dragon.

The bunny did not have a passport.

The dragon looked at her phone. “That is a good phone.”

“It’s dead,” said the bunny.

“There is a graveyard close by,” said the dragon. “However, we require your passport.”

The bunny was mortified. She did not want to abandon her phone to a graveyard. So she punched the dragon in the face and left.

She was in a tunnel close by an underground river. In the river were some blind fish.

“Hello, fish,” she said.

The fish did not respond. They were also deaf.

The bunny continued on and finally reached a magical wizard. His name was Christopher.

“Hi,” said the bunny.

“H-H-h-h-hh-h-h-i,” said Christopher.

“My phone is dead,” said the bunny.

“I do not practice necromancy,” said Christopher. “However I can offer you a banana.”

“I do not wish for a banana,” said the bunny. “I wish for my phone to be brought back to life.”

“I know a necromancer,” said Christopher. “His name is Blibbertigilligerfillet, but you can call him Bob. He lives with the fish.”

The bunny went back to the fish and called upon Blibbertigilligerfillet, or Bob for short, and he rose from the water, frothing.


“I want my phone to be not dead,” the bunny said.

THIS IS EASILY FIXED, said Blibbertigilligerfillet or Bob for short and snapped his fingers. The bunny’s phone was no longer dead.

“Yay!” said the bunny. “How can I repay you?”

GIVE ME YOUR SOUL, said Blibbertigilligerfillet or Bob for short.

“I will not,” said the bunny, and stabbed him with the phone. He fell back into the water, frothing.

The bunny patted her phone in delight. “I name you Excalibur,” she said. “Thou shalt stay with me forever.”

And so the bunny spent the rest of her life fighting evil and slaying bad people and doing other good things.


P.S. love you. don’t know when I’ll come back to writing Actual Blog Posts.

P.P.S. sagatime is basically when I write stories on twitter, usually late at night when I should be sleeping. Usually I put them here too.


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