tl;dr (did I really just type that that’s unbelievably atypical): I don’t ship things.
TW: a lot of questions. I don’t even know why I wrote so many questions. Possibly not PG.
No, not the thing where you put things into boxes and send them away. Though I hardly doubt that was what you were thinking…
I don’t ship things. Love (romantically speaking) is not a thing that makes sense in my brain; I rarely ever write romance pieces; I’ve never understood the concept of thinking that two people should be with each other and make out because in my brain being a girlfriend is something that happens to Other People and will never interest me (56 words).
LOVE IS WEIRD.
I mean, I can figure out feelings. I can figure out grief. *coughs* *end of Allegiant Tobias’s POV okay that scene killed me* But I can’t figure out being attracted to good-looking people. The only person who has come vaguely close is Tom Hiddleston (Loki) (did I just actually type that).
Also, I don’t understand the attractiveness of bodies. I’m comfortable with how I look, danke schön.
I’ve written a romance poem exactly once. It’s here. I had -1 idea of what I was doing and it probably sounds like everything else out there and I like umbrellas.
I don’t think I’ll ever do that again.
Therefore, if you read my stuff, all shipping will be strictly cannon. Probably. I may take requests so that your pairings don’t die.
I don’t always write what I know (one of my characters is homeschooled; one is Irish; one is Hispanic; some of them ride dragons; some of them fight people; a lot of them have to make decisions I don’t typically have to; one faces a tea shortage *shudders*). But making out and OTP’s and things will never be in that category.
How do people know that some characters are good together?
Because they just do?
Because they complete each other?
I CAN’T WRITE THAT HOW DO I WRITE THAT EXPLAINNNN
CAN WE JUST KEEP IT TO HUGS AND THINGS
Romance is a defining characteristic of YA, and I just don’t want to write that.
And I want to write YA, sometime, because it’s a lovely genre for my specific age group, but I’ve rarely seen a book with no shipping in it. It’s annoying.
I don’t think I’ll ever date someone. I don’t think I’ll ever kiss someone. Maybe I will, but it will be a long time from now because I’m just not interested in frolicking naked in fields. Okay, I’m semi-interested. Frolicking naked isn’t a half bad idea…
(please don’t imagine that)
So right now I’m reading The Mortal Instruments and there are kissing scenes and I’m reading them and I’m just thinking, “Did they fall in love just because Jace was the first hot guy Clary saw?”
Also, why are people in movies all so hot? Why are actors all so hot? Not all of us look like models. Actually. We all realize that, right?
Also, I don’t like scenes in which people make out. Or get naked.
is that considered non-pg
Do people actually enjoy reading those? I don’t. I kind of skim over them because when I start paying attention I start to feel like I’m getting maked-out (I don’t think that’s a thing) and I kind of die inside because no I ACTUALLY HAVE TO TALK TO A PERSON TO GAUGE HOW MUCH I LIKE THEM
DON’T KISS ME I DON’T LIKE BEING KISS DON’T MAKE OUT WITH ME JUST KEEP IT TO HUGS OKAY AND MAYBE THOSE AIR CHEEK KISSES
(that being said… obvious exception is Loki) (not because he’s hot.)
Why am I not using punctuation?
So, after a bunch of aimless ranting / mumbling / talking to myself / reeeeaaally uncollected thoughts:
a) Do you like shipping? Romance novels? Or are you a ship-less child who has to learn how to swim like me (that sounds incredibly deep it’s not really)? Or do you live on an island? Technically we all live on islands? Can you read The Gospel of Loki because there’s this really cool island analogy that involves the river Dream and that’s pretty much the entire analogy?
(this does not excuse you from reading it)
a.1) I read too much Joanne Harris sometimes. Do you binge-read authors?
b) Do you have any relatively making-out-less books?
c) Do you like the making-out scenes or are you grossed out?
d) What are your opinions about romance in novels, generally speaking?
Once upon a time
I tried to write a blog post
But it kind of died.