How to Eat an Orange

1. Find an orange. The oranger the better, and the orangier the better.

2. Find a banana. Look at the banana. Maybe do a study of it: with a magnifying glass, on paper, with a micropipette.

3. Discard the banana. What are you doing with that?

4. Find the orange again. Honestly, you should be more organized. It’s an orange, right? Not a lemon? Or a banana? Are you sure?

5. Stare broodily at the orange. Maybe write a poem. Or two. Or a song. I’ll wait.

6. Wash the orange.

7. Stare broodily at the orange. Maybe write a poem. Or two. Or a song. I’ll wait.

8. Listen to a song about oranges.

9. Peel the orange. Observe the spraying of orange-ish acid. No idea what it’s called. Orange juice? Essence of orange? I’ll go with essence of orange.

10. If the essence of orange sprays into your eyes, promptly scream and die on the spot. Then resurrect for the next step…

11. Eat the orange.

12. Repeat as needed.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s